Mind the Gap (Between Your Thoughts)

Just before leaving for my two week holiday in London and Paris I was concerned by how my regular sitting meditation schedule would be drastically interrupted. So I knew I’d have to practice what I preach even more than usual: I had to find a way to integrate a contemplative practice into my daily life under a very different set of circumstances and an unfamiliar environment. And not practicing just wasn’t an option: Trust me, you wouldn’t like me when I’m not practicing. 

After arriving at London’s Heathrow Airport two weeks ago, my fiancee and I eventually made our way to the Underground Train (aka “The Tube”) that would take us to the house we’d be staying at. So we arrived at the Bakerloo Underground station and while waiting for the train to arrive I was struck by the bold yellow letters stenciled into the edge of the platform just below my feet:

MIND THE GAP

In New York City when a subway car arrives at a station, there is virtually no space between the edge of the car and the edge of the platform--so you can walk onto the train very easily with no chance of having your foot sink through the space between the train and said platform. In the London Underground system however, there can be a significant gap between the train and the platform edge--thus the constant recorded “Mind the Gap” warnings over the intercom and written ones you see all over the place. 

When I saw “Mind the Gap” just before boarding the train towards London Bridge Station, I was instantly handed an invaluable contemplative tool that I knew would remind me several times a day to come back to my mind as it rests peacefully between thoughts. This phrase is something one sees and hears frequently when riding the Tube in London so I knew that I wouldn’t have to struggle all that much to keep my practice strong and consistent during my two week trip abroad.

Those gaps we experience between thoughts become more noticeable over time as we get more acquainted with how our thinking minds operate. I liken it to that moment immediately following a continuous noise of some kind like a car alarm, a barking dog, or wedding bells. When those sounds cease there’s this space left over that is always there but gets obscured by a constant array of internal noise. It’s an openness or gap where our thinking minds get a reprieve and something else has an opportunity to poke its head through--something that is always there but we tend to miss because we’re so enthralled by distraction. 

When all of the relentless brain chatter stops, even for just a moment, we’re left with something open, calm, and fertile. And those spacious moments gradually get longer and more frequent as we consistently practice both on and off the cushion. 

What happens about 97% of the time is that our brains secrete all kinds of thoughts, ideas, and opinions about our moment-to-moment experience. We buy into these thoughts, ideas, and opinions as real and as a result they take us over, leading us this way and that as if we’re nothing but dogs on a leash being yanked around by an erratic master. And in so doing we aren’t experiencing our lives directly but rather a facsimile of our our experience due to all of the commentary that’s been piled on top of it. 

So we confuse the constant chatter that goes on in our heads with who and what we are. But who and what we are has nothing to do with whatever stuff happens to be coursing through our brains at any given moment. 

Who and what we are has much more to do with those gaps we experience before thinking arises. 

This is not to say that thoughts are the enemy and we need to work hard to eradicate them. Trying to make our brains stop thinking would be like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a thimble full of water. 

But it’s essential that we train ourselves to notice those gaps between thoughts, because it is within these gaps that we get a more direct experience of our true nature.

This process allows us to create more space between us and our thinking minds. When we notice this gap, we can relate to our thoughts with curiosity and objectivity rather than obsession and fear. 

So please: Mind the Gap. Your life and your sanity depends on it. 

Getting Out of Your Own Way: Viewing Meditation as a Manifestation of Your True Nature

Dharma talk from Wednesday June 20 at the Interdependence Project:

Seven Ways to Meditate Anytime, Anywhere (Even if You’re the Busiest Person on Earth)

People often tell me that they really want to mediate but they’re too busy - there’s just not enough time. We all have a lot of things going on like jobs, school, families, and other responsibilities, so I frequently hear from clients and students that when they’re done with their day the last thing they want to do is to sit on a cushion with their legs crossed for thirty minutes.

The Buddha dealt quite a bit with lay people who led regular lives. He came into contact with people who didn’t have the luxury of being able to practice formally for several hours each day because they had to work in order to survive and they also had to deal with familial responsibilities. Just like today, people back then had personal and professional pressures to contend with and little to no down time.

So this notion that there’s something so uniquely challenging about our modern day situation when it comes to meditation practice is hogwash.

Many people really want to meditate and realize how important it is but they just can’t fathom a way in which such a practice could be integrated into their everyday lives.

I was talking with my teacher today about this topic and he reminded me of what his teacher Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say. Whenever he was asked what Zen practice was, Seung Sahn would reply,

“Correct Zen practice is: how do you keep your mind moment after moment after moment?”

He didn’t talk about long, formal meditation sessions or mind-numbing postural techniques—he simply emphasized the importance of bringing practice into our everyday lives and not treating it like some special, isolated thing that could only be practiced only under a very specific and limited set of circumstances.

So the good news is: you don’t have to be a card-carrying monk or a smiling, mala-bead wearing, prostrating, full lotus sitting, palms-together self-identified Buddhist in order to practice effectively every day.

Now don’t get me wrong—sitting and walking meditation are fundamental, wonderful forms of practice, and very, very useful. But if you find that you just aren’t taking the time to sit on a cushion or chair for just five, ten, or fifteen minutes a day, there there are other ways to work a meditation practice into your everyday life, even if you’re the busiest person in the world.

Here are seven ways of meditating that even the busiest among us can fit into their day:

1. Smartphone Practice – Set your phone alarm to go off at several different times throughout the day. When you hear the tone, take a moment to pause and check in and see how you are doing, even if it’s just for a few seconds. Notice if you’re stuck in any thought loops or harboring any negative emotional or mind states. Don’t try to force anything away or muster up any kind of special feeling, just notice how you are doing in that moment and then continue on with your day.

2. The Lay-Away Method – Just as it’s less painful to make a big purchase in small incremental payments over time, you can approach your daily meditation practice in much the same way. Just commit yourself to several periods of mini-practice sessions spread throughout the day. For example: tomorrow you can plan to be still and follow your breath for just sixty seconds at five or ten different periods. Use a reminder alert on your phone if you must or just schedule these one-minute sessions in your calendar the way you would a business or social engagement. When it comes to the length or frequency of each practice session you can adjust it all as needed in a way that makes it more doable for you.

3. Post-it Practice – Stick some small post-it notes in various places around your home and office that can serve as visual reminders to pay attention to what your mind is doing whenever you catch sight of them. Place them on mirrors, computer monitors, windows, closet doors--wherever you might come across them during your daily routine. You can also do this using a rubber band on your wrist, small colored stickers, or anything that can be visually prominent enough to remind you to notice what your mind is doing for at least a few seconds or more.

4. Pissing Practice – Once my teacher witnessed a desperate student approach Seung Sahn with a serious dilemma:

“According to the others at this Zen center, I am not practicing enough but I don’t have enough time each day to meditate for long periods…so what should I do?”

His answer really surprised her (and I'm summarizing):

“You shit, right? You pee? During that time, make that your practice!”

Everyone has to pee. Even the busiest person in the world has to urinate at least once a day. So why not use those precious few seconds to return to the moment and fully experience the sensations attached to the activity of peeing? We mustn’t waste anything--not even our waste.

5. Street-Walker Meditation—Whenever you are walking and wherever you happen to be, just walk. Don’t try to figure out your life or solve the world’s problems in your brain as you’re moving about—instead just pay attention to the feeling of the ground under each foot as it touches the earth below. Whether you are rushing down subway stairs, walking in the mall, running on the beach or strolling down the street, take at least a minute or more to completely immerse yourself in the simple activity of walking. Make an art out of moving yourself from your desk to the bathroom or from your parked car to the supermarket entrance. Notice what you are feeling and what kinds of thoughts arise as you do so without adding anything extra.

6. Eating Meditation – Whether you’re grabbling a quick cup of coffee at Starbucks or having an elaborately prepared gourmet meal, allow yourself some time to simply experience the act of consuming without piling anything on top of it like reading or allowing your thinking mind to take over. All too often we find ourselves eating or drinking something without even knowing what it tasted like when we’re done because we were so distracted by some inner chatter or outer multitasking. Practice is about fully engaging with whatever activity we happen to be involved with at any given time and nothing more. Whatever you are doing is enough.

7. Keyboard Practice – Cellular phones, ATM machines, and computer keyboards can be utilized like modern-day mala beads. When you’re texting or typing at your computer for example, pay close attention to the sensation of your fingertips as they tap against the keys on your phone or your keyboard.

What’s most important is to develop a way of practicing consistently that makes sense for who you are and the kind of life you lead. Be creative with this and come up with ways of meditating that are manageable, and this will inspire you to stick with it. Good old-fashioned seated meditation is still one of the best methods for learning how to get acquainted with your mind and to understand your true nature, but it’s not the only way.

Good practice is not just about sitting for long periods of time or going away on extended retreats at exotic meditation halls or reading a densely written Dharma book that makes you want to yawn. It’s simply about being fully aware of what your mind is doing at any given moment, and this is something you can do at any given moment.  

How to Meditate Anytime, Anywhere

Lessons from a Peacock: How to Transform Poison into Beauty

All of us experience states of mind that cause us to feel anxious, depressed, fearful, uncertain, insecure, envious, doubtful, impatient. These feelings can seem so powerful at times that we try to eradicate them as quickly as possible through the usual methods: we try to repress them, drink them away, shop them away, fuck them away, blame them away, or whatever it is we do when we experience sensations that aren’t pleasing to us.

Following are the first three verses from a teaching called "The wheel of Sharp Weapons", written by Dharmaraksita:

1. In jungles of poisonous plants strut the peacocks, though medicine gardens of beauty lie near, The masses of peacocks do not find gardens pleasant, but thrive on the essence of poisonous plants. 

2. In similar fashion the brave Bodhisattvas remain in the jungle of worldly concern. No matter how joyful this world's pleasure gardens,these Brave Ones are never attracted to pleasures,but thrive in the jungle of suffering and pain.

3. We spend our whole life in the march for enjoyment, yet tremble with fear at the mere thought of pain; thus since we are cowards, we are miserable still, but the brave Bodhisattvas accept suffering gladly, and gain from their courage a true lasting joy.

While preparing for a dharma talk about this subject last week, I learned that peacocks aren't very particular with regard to what kinds of food they'll eat: the brighter in color the object is, the better. They are drawn to a variety of plants and insects, and in fact they will even eat poisonous snakes if they come across one that's colorful enough. What's even more interesting is that just for the sake of amusement they will follow around a slithering, poisonous snake for a while, just observing it curiously before they devour it. And it is said that the poison they ingest from plants and snakes actually makes the colors of their plumage all the more vibrant and beautiful.

What if changed our approach to difficult, poisonous states of mind and met them with the same courage and curiosity as a peacock? 

Instead of running away from every mind state and emotion that feels threatening, we could simply observe the thoughts and sensations attached to these states of mind without getting caught up in the story about how they came about and who or what is to blame. 

Fixating on our stories only serves to inflame the poisonous feelings. Of course it is important to acknowledge what kinds of circumstances in our lives might be contributing and creating the conditions for suffering, and we should work to alter those circumstances whenever appropriate. But eventually we have to take responsibility for our own states of mind and realize that external events should not be able to dictate when we feel well and when we do not. 

We mustn't be our brain's bitch.

We liberate ourselves by simply resting our minds on the challenging feelings we experience without the usual overlay of our thoughts about how good or bad it feels, or why we feel this way, or who is to blame for how we feel. We can drop the storyline, drop the constant inner commentary, drop the ideas and concepts about what we are experiencing and instead directly experience the reality of our life as it is at any given moment. We don't have to obsess over negative emotions and we don't have to chase them away either--we can simply notice them the way we notice our thoughts when we meditate: with bare, brave attention. 


When we do this we can further cultivate qualities of love and compassion that we can apply towards ourselves and other people. We can make use of our painful mind states and transform them into something that opens our hearts and allows us to be of more service to others. 

By immersing ourselves in the reality of our moment to moment experience we can make friends with impermanence and ride it's wave rather than have it crash over us and cause us to drown.