Sometimes Tradition Sucks: What a Difference a Year Can Make

It was just over a year ago that I very publicly withdrew from the Taego Overseas Seminary after learning about their discriminatory policies; until then these policies had been unknown to me and the general public. Nine months and one retreat into my training with them, I discovered that openly gay and lesbian people could not be fully ordained as monks, despite my being clear from the start that I’m a gay man. After a lot of digging around it was also reluctantly revealed to me that women, anyone over the age of 55, and people with physical challenges were also excluded from ordaining in this order. 

All of this was justified to me as being based on the Vinaya (monastic rules of conduct written a few thousand years ago), yet within the Vinaya can be found rules that expressly forbids monks to be married or to lead non-celibate lives. Yet Taego monks (at least the heterosexual, male ones) are allowed to marry. But in Taegoland, women and lgbt people may not.

When I discovered I would have to lie and hide who I am if I were ever to ordain as a monk in this order, I was crushed. For many years I felt called upon to ordain so the Taego Order seemed a natural fit since it billed itself as a progressive order with a 1,000 year history, rooted in Korean Zen (a tradition I had by now grown very fond of). The Zen geek in me was enamored with the idea that I could be part of a lineage with such a long, unbroken line of transmission (which as it turns out isn’t really true anyway).

As Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say, sometimes a bad situation is really a good situation. And sometimes what appears to be a good situation is really a bad one. This wisdom that I’m paraphrasing very much applied to my experience last year:  at the time it felt like the worse thing in the world was happening to me, yet it was in fact the best possible outcome in the long run.

In Zen it is often emphasized that we ought not be fooled by appearances because they can be misleading and inaccurate. 

For a long time I was stuck on an idea of what constituted an authentic Zen Order because I bought into the concept that a Buddhist lineage that can be traced back for hundreds of years must be more valid, more desirable, more authentic.

Yet witnessing the Taego Order’s double standards and blatant discrimination under the guise of tradition underscored that many things which are rooted in history and/or tradition are not necessarily good or desirable at all: and in fact they can often be quite harmful. 

Traditionally marriage between the races was considered illegal and immoral until a 1967 Supreme Court decision corrected this wrong view, despite the fact that the vast majority of the public at the time thought blacks and whites should not be allowed to marry.

Currently, in most Christian traditions women are not allowed to ordain on a level equal to men. 

The Buddha himself is often credited with taking the revolutionary step of ordaining women, but he only did so begrudgingly and after being convinced by Ananda that women were just as capable of awakening as men are. However, his nuns had additional rules and restrictions to observe, rules that their male counterparts were not asked to follow. He then erroneously concluded that as a result of his succumbing to the pressure to ordain women, his teachings would only survive a mere 500 years rather than the 1,000 years he had previously predicted. He was, after all, just a dude who lived 2,500 years ago, a man that while amazing in many ways was also just a product of his time.

All of this is especially interesting to consider in light of the major breakthroughs that have occurred for the LGBT population in the United States over the past year: the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and having a sitting president voice support for marriage equality. 

Sometimes tradition is misguided and no longer correct, and therefore needs to be changed. 

Many people argue that marriage should be between one man and one woman because that is how it has traditionally existed, and that the rules of marriage are clearly outlined in the Old and New Testaments. If one is to take the Bible literally however, there can be a strong case made for polygamy, allowing slavery, and outlawing divorce.


Interestingly, soon after leaving Taego, which I believed to be a 1,600 year old order, I discovered that it was actually formed quite recently as a result of a mass exodus of monks from the Chogye Order in 1970.

The unexpected turn of events last year led me to the Five Mountain Zen Order with whom I was able to ordain just four months ago. Five Mountain is a thoroughly modern and truly authentic Order based in the same Korean Zen lineage of Zen Master Seung Sahn. It’s a young and growing “Monastery Without Walls” whose main focus is helping people regardless of their financial means or geographic location. Founded by my teacher and friend Ven. Paul Yuánzhì Lynch, it recognizes and respects tradition while being dedicated to offering people teachings and opportunities to practice in ways that make sense in our current culture and time. Paul is building an international sangha that is inclusive, dynamic, and far-reaching, and together we are trailblazing a path which other contemporary Western Buddhist lineages would be wise to follow. 

Knowing what I know now, I’d have never bothered chasing after an idea of authenticity because Im now in the company of a sangha that is more concerned with helping others than following outdated and useless rules. 

What a difference a year can make.

The Importance of Following a Noble Path over a Narrow One

Right now in in 21st century Nepal, it is actually considered debatable as to whether or not a Buddhist nun raped by five men on a bus should be allowed to return to her monastic life or not. 

"The religious dictum requires a nun to be virgin. So, it will be difficult to take her back," the president of Nepal, Tamang Ghedung Kumar Yonjan, said in an article in the Nepal Republic Media. "But we will lobby for her reinstatement as it is a unique incident."

That’s mighty nice of them to consider, don’t you think? Pardon me while I take a moment to wipe from my face all of that compassion oozing out of them. 

However, Norbu Sherpa, an official of Nepal Buddhist Federation, told the Times of India, "Such a thing never happened in the Buddha's lifetime. … So he did not leave instructions about how to deal with the situation. Buddhists all over the world adhere to what he had laid down: that a person can no longer be considered ordained in case of having a physical relationship. It's applicable to both men and women."

I wonder if Norbu Sherpa knows how to wipe his ass since I don’t think the Buddha ever left specific instructions on how to do that?

When pressed by the Times of India, Sherpa expressed regret about the attack, but said, "A vessel that is damaged once can no longer be used to keep water. … Buddhism all over the world says this. Even the Dalai Lama says you can't be a monk or nun after marriage."

While this particular situation seems limited to a faraway culture, it really does reveal a larger dilemma that many of us struggle with when it comes to how we can live our lives in a way that is consistent with Buddhist principles.

It’s understandable that many of us crave simple, black and white answers to our life situation which is in reality is one big gray area. There’s never always one “right” way to respond to a given situation, and any attempts at approaching this world in such a narrow way can only lead to more suffering for ourselves and other people.

The Buddha left some ethical guidelines, a prescription for happiness for us in the form of the Eightfold Path. Like the ingredients for a cake, there is room for substitution and variance so long as the spirit of the path remains intact.

There are also many, many rules he came up with for his monastics based on situations that would arise and needed to be remedied. Many years later these rules were written down in the Vinaya Pitaka (at least as well as people could remember them) and now there are some who try to rigidly apply them to people today.

For example, the Overseas Bishop of the Taego Order here in the West tells gay people, straight females, and handicapped people that they cannot be monks as per Vinaya rules which is a lie and distortion of those rules. Interestingly, this order is already in violation of the Vinaya by allowing their straight male monks to live non-celibate lives and be married. It is very clearly written in the Vinaya that a monk must be celibate.

Early in my Buddhist studies I thought that this kind of cherry-picking with regard to rules of moral conduct was limited to certain Christian traditions but unfortunately, it goes on in Buddhist circles as well, even here in this country.

Buddhism is unique in that it encourages us to engage this world and our minds with a personal, experiential approach. Following a rigid set of rules written in a very different cultural context some 2,500 years ago and blindly following what some alleged authorities say is in direct conflict with what the Buddha taught.

May all beings learn to exercise true wisdom and compassion so that people like this young nun no longer have to suffer due to a narrow view of the Buddhist path.

Destroying the Raft: Why the Dharma Matters More than Form and Tradition

A few months ago while on a Taego Order retreat I was having a conversation with an ordained American Taego monk about the ordination requirements since I was training to be a monk myself. We were talking about the rigorous physical requirements for the eventual ordination ceremony in Korea, which entails performing 1,000 full-on standing-to-kneeling-to-forehead-on-the-ground prostrations while trekking uphill in the hot, muddy mountains leading up the big event at the monastery. You can see what I’m talking about here.

While I had some minor reservations about going through this process, I felt confident enough in my ability to handle the rigors since I’m very physically active and not at all unused to going ape-shit with my body. However, I do know of two guys (both of them young, physically fit and practicing martial artists) who confessed to finding the ordination process extremely difficult despite their high fitness levels. One of them said he almost thought he wouldn’t be able to complete the ceremony as it is so taxing on the body.

(All of this was just before I was made aware of the discriminatory ordination policies and double standards that exists for LGBT people, straight women, and the physically challenged within the Taego Order, and their continued lack of transparency about these policies.)

So as I was talking to this monk about this order’s prostration requirement, I said something about my assumption that they must make allowances for people with physical issues or older ordainees who might not be able to do a full prostration, let alone 1,000.

“If someone can’t do prostrations, they shouldn’t ordain!”he replied indignantly.

Surprised, I asked him “Do you think someone can’t be a good monk unless they can do prostrations?”

He rolled his eyes, looked away, and remained silent.

It was at that moment that I began to more deeply consider what the dharma was really about and what it often gets mistaken for. It also highlighted for me the dilemma we face at this point in time about how to assimilate very old Buddhist traditions from the East with our culture here and now in a way that makes sense and works for the people it claims to want to help. All too often Buddhist temples and dharma centers get so caught up in form, appearances and traditions that they end up alienating the very people that need them the most.

Taking a 1,200 year tradition like bowing prostrations and trying to force Westerners to do them is a foolish and pointless as asking a Christian convert to walk down Fifth Avenue with a cross on her back.

I’m not saying that this lineage or any other lineage requires it’s lay students to engage in such extreme forms of practice, but it does highlight a greater issue in Western Buddhism today.

There are many, many tools that can help in training our minds; sitting and walking meditation, chanting, prostrations, art practice, etc. But getting attached to any of them is a mistake. I bet the Buddha himself never did a bloody prostration in his 80 plus years, so why the hell should anyone today be expected to if they just can’t handle it physically?

It’s ridiculous to create more obstacles to a person’s practice in this day and age. We already have more than our fair share of distractions. The Buddha taught about the importance of not getting attached to the raft once you cross the river. While he was talking about the importance of not clinging even to his own teachings, this parable also applies very well to the different forms and traditions that have sprung up since his death, that too many people still desperately cling to today.

A lineage isn’t more valid simply because it’s few centuries old or because it was originated in a foreign culture. Personally, I no longer recognize the Taego Order as valid given the discriminatory policies it enforces and it’s refusal to be clear about those policies from the start.

It’s counterproductive and harmful to get too caught up in the rituals attached to the dharma. When people do this, the true spirit of the teachings risks being lost or subjugated, and all one is left with is a hollow, shadow of a practice.

There’s no need to be so hardcore and geeky about this stuff, we’re already hard enough on ourselves as it is. We have to find a way to make the dharma work for people here and now, and not cling to how it used to work for people in days past.

The Lie of Certainty

The phrase “You can achieve anything you want if you just want it badly enough” is a dangerous lie. Politicians and pop stars often love to recite sayings like this to the jazzed up, adoring throngs of people before them because it gives people a false sense of hope that life can be just the way they want it to be. According to some, if you work hard enough you can be president of the United States, earn millions of dollars, or at least have your album go platinum.

The truth is, we never know what’s just around the corner, or what twists and turns our life will take, and how our priorities might shift from one year to the next. And if we’re being too rigid and clinging to what we think we need in life, it’s like we’re trapped in a wooden barrel at the highest edge of a waterfall.

Our fixed ideas and narrow requirements for happiness keep us stuck.

It’s wonderful to have aspirations and to nurture them with consistency, focus, and hard work. But it’s very dangerous to think that we can control and manipulate life so that it can turn us into the precise version of ourselves that we think we ought to be, or offer us the very specific lifestyle we thing we need to be happy. This kind of thinking keeps our attention constantly out there, like a horse chasing after the carrot dangling right in front of his head.

All of the wishing and creative visualizing in the world can’t ever guarantee us a specific outcome. Our condition is one of constant change. Things arise and fall away, and then other things pop up and then turn into something else. No form of mind mastery or magical thinking is going to reverse the very nature of things.

I’ve spent most of my life trying to force things to happen a certain way and I’m now just learning to appreciate the value of watching all of my plans fall apart before my eyes. I’m learning how to just settle into the space created by that sudden void instead of trying to fill it with something new and “better.”

What opens up when our plans fail is very potent and something we can really work with. Having exactly what we want all the time doesn’t offer us much room for growth at all.

Recently someone who heard about my recent and very public withdrawal from the Taego Order seminary asked me if I was “ok.” When I considered her question carefully I was surprised to discover that I actually feel more liberated than devastated, more excited than angry. Had things worked out just the way I planned for them to, that might have been just fine. But what I’m experiencing right now is so unique and unexpected and I’m getting to learn all kinds of cool stuff about people, myself, and the world in general.

What I’ve wanted throughout my life has changed and evolved many, many times. If I were the kind of person today that I dreamt of being ten years ago, I’d most likely be surrounded by people and circumstances that have nothing to do with where my heart is right now.

The more I think I know what’s going on, the more I eventually realize I have no idea what’s going on. That used to scare the bejeezus out of me, but now I just find it comforting.

The only ground we can actually depend on in life is that there really is no ground at all.

And this is very, very good news.

Sweeping Zen Podcast about Discrimination in Zen and Buddhism

Last night I participated in a round table discussion about discrimination in the Zen and Buddhist Community.

Adam Tebbe of Sweeping Zen arranged this after reading my blog posts about my public withdrawal from the Taego Order's seminary program once I learned about their discriminatory policies towards gay and lesbian ordainees, women, people over 55, and the physically challenged.

You can listen to the podcast HERE.